


Happier

by waywardmoeyy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Angst, Castiel Fluff, Castiel x Reader Fluff, Castiel x Reader angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 00:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16692178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardmoeyy/pseuds/waywardmoeyy
Summary: This fic is based on the song "Happier" by Ed Sheeran.





	Happier

Castiel stood on the damp sidewalk and stared into the bar window. Light rain trickled down onto his face and coat as he studied you and your new boyfriend through the glass. He had never seen you smile so wide. His heart ached as he sighed. You looked so happy, which killed him.  
He hid in the shadows and studied your movements as the rain fell harder. Your hand rested on the new man’s knee as he repeatedly made you laugh. Castiel remembered that same laugh, the one he would trigger from a playful tickle or an awkward joke.  
But now, you looked so much happier.  
And he needed to learn to live with that. It was for your protection. From the moment Cas and you had become more than friends, a bright red target had been painted on your back. He was a rogue angel, a renegade hunted by nearly every angel in Heaven. And that put both of you in danger. He couldn’t live with himself if something happened to you because of your connection.  
But now, he started to realize that he couldn’t live without you.  
Cas slammed the nearly empty bottle of whiskey on the library room table. It was his second today. If he weren’t an angel, he would probably be dead from alcohol poisoning.  
Dean stomped into the room and studied his best friend. “Dude, Cas, you need to let her go. It’s been over a month.”  
Cas shook his head. “I saw her Dean. With him, her new boyfriend. They were in a bar and they were so happy.”  
Dean rolled his eyes. “And that killed you? You just can’t stand seeing her happy with someone else?” He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “Cas, you broke her heart. She loved you, man. She probably still does. But you left her for her own good.”  
Cas nodded, fighting back tears. Dean was right. You were safer now, away from angels. “I was so happy with her.”  
“Dude, you will feel that kind of love again. I’ll tell you what. Take some time to heal from this, to forget about her, then we will help you scope out the future Mrs.—um, Castiel.” Dean chuckled.  
Cas stood, wobbling backwards before regaining his balance. His eyes darkened with anger as he eyed his friend. “I will never forget her,” he growled. He tried to take as step forward, but fell backwards into his chair. “I still love her Dean.”  
Dean walked around the table to Cas and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “I know, dude. But it’s for the best.  
Cas sighed as he finished off the bottle and slammed his back onto the table. She’s happy, Cas thought. Y/N, please be safe. I love you. I wish you a happy life. Cas prayed to you, knowing you couldn’t hear it.  
The glass bottle tipped out of Cas’s hand as his head as it hit the table, passed out cold.  
You adjusted the neckline of your favorite black dress as you got ready for your date tonight. You had spent nearly an hour on your hair, curling it then pinning half of it up. You make up was light, but elegant. You wanted everything to be perfect.  
Cayden was such a great guy, so down to earth and funny. You enjoyed every minute of his company, and tonight he was taking you to a new place, and it was a total surprise. You slipped on your new plum colored stilettos as the doorbell rang.  
“I’ll be right there, babe!” you shouted as you quickly grabbed your purple clutch bag. You danced to the door and opened it, immediately hugging your boyfriend. When you pulled back, you studied his face. His furrowed brow confused you. “What’s up? Is something wrong?”  
Cayden barged past you and into your apartment. “I thought you were going to were the blue dress we picked out together.” His voice was low and annoyed.  
You tilted your head. “I mean, I can. I just thought this one was cute too.” Cayden let out a deep sigh as his fists curled at his sides. You noticed, the gesture making your stomach sink. “Baby, what’s the matter?” you asked sweetly.  
He laughed and rolled his eyes. “I just can’t believe how ungrateful you are. I mean, I bought you something with my hard-earned money and offer to take you to a nice dinner, and you don’t even wear it to show appreciation?”  
“Cayden, I didn’t know it really meant that much to you. If you just told me—“  
You squealed as his fist collided with your jaw. You gripped your face as you fell back onto the carpet. “I shouldn’t have to tell you that, Y/N. A real woman knows how to make her man happy, to make him feel important.” He stood over you, rolling up his sleeves. You shuffled backwards on the floor towards your hallway. Scrambling to your feet, you raced to your bedroom. “Where are you going?” he teased as he slowly followed you. You crashed against the bedroom door as you turned the knob. You rushed in, slamming the door and locking it behind you.  
“C’mon, Y/N. Let me in.” Cayden pounded on the door with his fist. “Lemme help you out of that dress, baby.”  
You knelt, reaching under your bed and grabbing a small blue box. You opened it and snatched the small key that lay buried under various papers. Turning to the nightstand, you slipped the key into the lock on the top drawer and pulled the drawer open.  
Just as you opened the drawer, your bedroom door busted open. “Y/N, we’re going to be late if we don’t get going. Our reservations are in twenty-five minutes. Now, let’s get you fixed up—“  
“Don’t come any closer,” you snarled as you aimed your gun between his eyes. “I will shoot.”  
Cayden smirked as he stood perfectly still. “Do you actually know how to use that thing?”  
You narrowed your gaze at the asshole. “Wanna take another step and find out?” You growled as you slowly stood. Cayden just glared at you. “I didn’t think so. Now, get the fuck out of my home. If I see you again, you’ll get one right between the eyes. I don’t miss.”  
Cayden growled one more time before turning for the door. You slowly followed him, your gun still aimed at his head.  
Once the ass walked out the front door, you slammed it shut and completely lost it. You collapsed to the floor and began to sob uncontrollably. Fuck. Your face throbbed as you traced your fingers over the forming bruise.  
You closed your eyes as tears streamed over your flushed cheeks. Your shaky hand gently placed the gun on the floor next to you before tucking under your arm. You slipped off your heels and chucked them at the door. “Fucker. I should have shot him,” you mumbled to yourself. A quiet sob escaped you as you glanced over to the narrow entryway table along the wall. You studied the various framed photographs. You smiled as you focused on the one of the Winchester brothers, Castiel, and you. You all stood outside a dingy bar in Chicago, just after a successful wendigo hunt. Sam and Dean each had an arm around your shoulders, and Cas stood awkwardly behind you. It was taken a few months before you and the angel had become intimate. Your stomach fluttered as you studied those stunning blue eyes. God, I miss you, you thought as more tears streamed down your face. I was happier with you.  
A hard knock at the door startled you. You quickly gathered your gun and held it at your side as you stood. You marched to the door, lifting the gun as you opened it. “I told you, if you came back I would blast your fucking brains out—“ You froze as familiar blue eyes pierced through you, full of concern. “Cas…” You lowered the gun from his face, “what are you doing here?”  
Cas smiled shyly. “I felt your pain, your energy. It seemed like a prayer for help. Then, your words.” Cas tilted his head as his eyes scanned your face, noticing the deepening purple tint along your jaw line. “Y/N, what happened to your face?”  
You pulled your hand over your jaw, wincing at the contact. “Cayden, my boyfriend… well, ex-boyfriend now. He got mad about what I was wearing. I-It came out of nowhere. But it will heal on its own.” You smiled up at him. “No need to waste your energy on one little bruise.”  
Cas closed the distance between you, gently lifting your hand from your face. It took every ounce of his power to remain calm. “That looks pretty bad, Y/N. You should definitely put some ice on it. Here—“ Cas brushed past you and headed for your kitchen. He clenched his jaw, fighting the urge to find this asshole and rip his throat out. He opened the freezer door and rummaged through the various frozen dinners before spotting a small ice pack. He wrapped the pack in a paper towel and handed it to you. “This should help.”  
You nodded in thanks, pulling the ice pack to your face. Your mind suddenly flooded with emotion, causing a sob to escape. Cas placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Let’s go sit down.” He guided you to your living room, sitting on the couch before pulling you onto his lap.  
You leaned your head against his shoulder as tears streamed down your cheeks. Your hand shook as it struggled to hold the ice pack to your face. Cas noticed, taking the pack into his hand. You rested your now free hand on his chest as you let your emotions out. “I should have killed him. That ass—“  
“Shhh.” Cas pulled you close against him. “Forget about him. No man who does this to someone he claims to love should get the easy way out. He will get his comeuppance one day, and it will be ugly.” Cas smiled down at you. He watched as your Y/E/C eyes brightened at his words. He lowered the ice pack and gently placed it on the side table. His fingers moved a few strands of hair from your face.  
“So, you heard my thoughts?” you whispered as the tears started to dry up. There was nothing left to cry.  
Cas nodded as you lifted from his chest. You fixed on his cerulean eyes, the swirling blue comforting you. “I miss you too, Y/N. These past five weeks have been torture. I—I miss holding you as you drift to sleep and being there when you wake up. I miss your smile, your laugh.”  
Your heart pinged at his words. You glanced away as you spoke, “But, the angels. You left because your love for me put me in danger. You broke my heart, Castiel. Yes, I miss you every moment I’m breathing, but you said it was for the best. So, I moved on.” You lifted yourself from his lap and stood. “I told you I didn’t care about all of that, but you shoved me away anyway.” It was true, he did break your heart into a billion pieces when he told you the love between you would be the death of you. The callousness, the lack of sensitivity in his words were what killed you the most.  
Cas closed his eyes and sighed. After a moment, his gaze flicked back up to you. “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wanted you to live a safe, normal life, which meant I couldn’t be in it.”  
You rolled your eyes, releasing a few more tears. “Cas, you fucking idiot, I’m a hunter. Being alive is a danger to my safety. Plus, there are hundreds of demons and monsters that now associate me with the Winchesters, and with you. Regardless of whether or not we are actually together.” You turned away as more tears suddenly spilled out. “Cas, I was so much happier with you.”  
Cas stood and turned you back towards him, gently taking your hand in his. “Y/N, do you still love me?”  
“Isn’t it obvious? Castiel, I’ve never loved someone so much in my life,” you admitted as your knees began to shake. “I don’t give a shit about those fucking feathered freaks hunting me down. Bring it. I’ll shove that angel blade so far up their ass, they’ll barf holy confetti before they explode.”  
Cas’s eyes widened at your words. “Point taken,” he chuckled. “Well, then if imminent celestial attack doesn’t scare you, then it doesn’t worry me.” He smiled as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close. “I’ll be right here with you.” He lowered his head and pressed his lips to yours. You melted into him as you snaked your arms around his neck. One of his hands came up and caressed the side of your neck before sliding to grip the hair at the back of your head. His tongue flicked against your lips. You willingly parted them, finally tasting the man you truly loved.  
After a few minutes, Cas pulled away and gazed into your eyes. “You look happier.”  
You nodded, “I’m happier with you.” You brushed your nose against his. “I love you, Castiel. I always have.”  
“I love you too,” Cas responded as he leaned in again.


End file.
